the river...

My heart is heavy as I write today.  Probably more details than most of you care to hear.  Wondering what is coming.  Curious how the dips and turns in the river are going to bring me where I need to go and be.  I realize more and more that my perspective on the circumstances around me are rarely what I see them to be.  They are all God's hand pushing me in the right direction.  Emotions that seem out of place, friendships that seem strained, jobs going better than expected, desires being awakened, promises being fulfilled, prayers being answered or denied, they are all part of getting me where God wants me.

I use to look at things as simply good or bad.  People being mean was bad and people being nice was good, but I don't think that way anymore.  The mean people could be just a pawn in the hand of the Lord to push me away from those people or places that I have become to comfortable and dependent on in the direction he wants me to.  Maybe I should go back to thinking so simply, but I just dont' anymore and the great thing is God knows me and how I think.  He sometimes speaks straight to me about the next step or direction to take but other times I find Him quiet and I must just keep rolling down the river.  Trusting His unspoken guidance and the instincts He's already put in my heart.  No, no one is being 'mean' to me and I'm not making life decisions right now based off of that, it's simply an analogy.  But the truth of the matter is we must know that if God is as big as we know He must be then He can use our emotions as much as He can use our external circumstances.  Are we to base our decisions on emotions, I think not, but if we are living in pursuit of the Lord's will and aligning our spirit, soul and body with this, giving Jesus the ruling and reigning power in our lives, then we can only conclude that He is doing just that-ruling over our emotions and using them for His plans and purposes like bumps and turns in the river to guide us where we need to go. 

There are a lot of turns and twists in the river that I'm riding out right now.  It is a fun ride most days, sobering on others.  Today it is the latter.  Sobering because things cannot stay as they've been.  They can't,  even if I try to resist the change He won't allow me to stay put.  He has too many great things ahead.

You take my mourning

And turn it into dancing

You take my weeping

And turn it into laughing

You take my sadness

And turn it into joy

You give me JOY! 

You bring restoration,

To my soul!
Halelujah,
You make all things new!