watching...

So I realized something about myself today and I'm sure I'm not the only one who fits in this category, but ever since the earthquake happened in Haiti I have found myself avoiding the news. I hear about it everywhere I go, plus facebook, twitter, the radio and what I realized is I have been avoiding watching the news about it. I didn't realize I was avoiding it until yesterday when I saw a clip on everything and I about broke down. All day today I haven't been able to get around the idea that giving money just isn't enough...not for me. I want to give more and more and the compassion being released from the whole world is so amazing to hear about, but you see I'm a doer. I like to fix things. I want to be the tangible expression of that compassion. Both are needed, but I guess today I realized I've been avoiding watching because I don't want to cry. I don't want my heart to hurt. I want to be able to go about my day and take for granted my blessed life. I don't want to feel so incredibly spoiled and then have to face the reality of the decision stirring within me, "Who will go for me?"

And really it has to do with so much more than Haiti. It's a question stirring inside of me that can't help but be pulled up with situations like this. It's that question I've tried to contain and control my whole life I'm pretty sure, even when I didn't know it. It's the question that forces me to take action and make a decision. Because you see, every major calling and conviction requires just that. If you make the decision to overlook, push down, avoid and bury the question you will only continue to walk away from your calling and the freedom that comes only in truely being fulfilled by doing what your father made you to do. Not out of obligation or a need of His approval, but simply out of the fact that He knows when you are fulfilled in following what He has put in you, you will become fully alive...and then...you will be the very best expression of His heart, His glory, that you can!

Every person that chooses to play in the game of the Kingdom of God has a unique role to play. You are doing yourself, your Father and everyone else a huge injustice to not play YOUR part! The whole team is less because of it. They can put another person in to play your part, but it will then look different and the fulfillment you would have had will only wait a short while before trying to push itself back to the surface again. And you can keep going in circles trying to tame it, control it and make it look the way you want to, but the best thing to do is simply to jump and wrecklessly abandon!

Don't just watch from the sidelines anymore.