I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to have character. I think the word is thrown around quite a bit and few of us know what it really means. The subject came to my mind because of situations and circumstances that have come to my attention in the last few weeks in my life. I want to be a person of good character. If there's one thing I've thought since I was quite young, it was that I wanted to be transparent. I wanted to be like a glass house that has no secrets and if you looked inside, you never found anything that you wouldn't expect by looking at the outside. It's a strange thought I suppose, but one that I've thought for so long that I don't even realize that I'm thinking about it. Now this very thought process can get me in trouble because I can't hide things very well. If I'm annoyed or frustrated it tends to show on my face. I think the older and more mature I get I get better at this, but part of me doesn't want to be good at it...at hiding. Finding the balance...sigh...as in all things of life.
So character... in my own thoughts before looking it up or researching the definition I think of consistency. I think of someone who treats everyone the same. I think of someone who realizes there position (be that leadership or not) and realizes the responsibility that goes with that. I think of someone who does what's right when no one is watching, because they simply believe in the right thing. I think of someone who is always honest and is looking out for the good of others. Now those are my thoughts.
Here's the dictionary meaning: moral or ethical quality: a man of fine, honorable character, qualities of honesty, courage, or the like; integrity; reputation: a stain on one's character;
good repute; an account of the qualities or peculiarities of a person or thing.
So really from that definition you need to know what moral and ethics are and what it means to have integrity! Which I suppose changes somewhat within a culture, but overall would remain consistent.
I guess after reading that, what I consider "character" has more to do with the the underlying qualities and ethics of a persons life . To me it seems like a 'known' factor that if I am up on a stage leading others in worship that I should also be consistent in showing a genuine interest in those same people when I see them face to face. That when I work for someone I should not show disrespect or an attitude any different than I would with someone asking me to do something I love. I mean, obviously our flesh and natural tendency is to only do what 'feels good' and is 'comfortable', but that is why I would venture to say good character is hard to come by.
Just my thoughts...outloud...transparently :)
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
4th of july goodness...
Well it was a crazy busy July 4th weekend, one of which I greatly enjoyed but am glad is over! I'm not sure why I was so exhausted all weekend, but I wasn't feeling so great Friday morning leading into the start of the weekends events.
Friday night I joined a large group of people (some I knew, a lot I did not) at a big bash event up in north Dallas. It was nice outside and I ended sitting poolside just chatting with friends here and there.
Saturday, I started the day bright and early with a shoot at the Botanical Gardens in Ft. Worth. My friend Hannah is a massage therapist and it worked out perfectly that she needed some pictures taken for her website and I am always in need of a good massage! So we wrapped a quick shoot, of which I realized how rusty I am from not shooting much in a while, and then I was off to south Arlington for a baby shoot. Granted I have never wanted to shoot baby pictures it was much much easier than I thought and little baby Cash was a great model.
Sophia chillin pool-side!
Rehearsal...
Shelby letting it rip in practice!
Here they are...K-S-M!
Friday night I joined a large group of people (some I knew, a lot I did not) at a big bash event up in north Dallas. It was nice outside and I ended sitting poolside just chatting with friends here and there.
Saturday, I started the day bright and early with a shoot at the Botanical Gardens in Ft. Worth. My friend Hannah is a massage therapist and it worked out perfectly that she needed some pictures taken for her website and I am always in need of a good massage! So we wrapped a quick shoot, of which I realized how rusty I am from not shooting much in a while, and then I was off to south Arlington for a baby shoot. Granted I have never wanted to shoot baby pictures it was much much easier than I thought and little baby Cash was a great model.
The rest of my day was spent over at my friend Angela's parents house where I joined her and her husband and the band they manage, KSM, for a great day grilling out and relaxing around the pool. It was a great relaxing day and amidst 3 hours out in the sun and only putting on spf 15 I got NO sun! :(
Sunday, our church had a huge picnic after the morning service and thank goodness Texas weather decided to treat us kindly with a great cloud cover and a slight breeze! So it was a great afternoon of visiting with friends I seem to rarely get the time for! I then went home and crashed for a couple hours before heading to KSM's show! They, along with David Archaletta, opened for Demi Lavatto at a nearby theatre. My friend Ang got me a media pass and I ventured down to the pit to shoot some close-ups of the girls! Then...right before they came on a security guy came along and told me all media had to be up by the sound booth...which was about half way up the arena! UGH! So needless to say close-ups did not happen! But the girls did a great job and put on a great show! They are an all girl band and just recorded the soundtrack of 'I want you to want me' that will be used for the new ABC tv show '10 Things I hate about You'. Check them out!
So it was a great July 4th weekend all around! Lots of friends and sun! As I drove home Sunday night I realized I thought very little this weekend about what this holiday is actually about. I didn't see many fireworks all weekend and I didn't see a parade full of American flags and amidst my own enjoyment I almost completely forgot what it is all about. Sad, I know....but in that moment, driving the packed late night interstate, I remembered. I'm not sure what reminded me... but something did and I began to think about our country and all the other countries I've been to. How completely spoiled I am, how much I take it for granted because it's all I've ever known and how ungreatful I can be. I recently talked to a friend about how as humans we always want more. We rarely appreciate what we currently have because we always want more. Now that can be a good thing, but most of the time it is to our shame. And in our wanting we become completely ungreatful. So today, take a minute and quit thinking about what you dont' have and focus on what you do...and be greatful!
Sunday, our church had a huge picnic after the morning service and thank goodness Texas weather decided to treat us kindly with a great cloud cover and a slight breeze! So it was a great afternoon of visiting with friends I seem to rarely get the time for! I then went home and crashed for a couple hours before heading to KSM's show! They, along with David Archaletta, opened for Demi Lavatto at a nearby theatre. My friend Ang got me a media pass and I ventured down to the pit to shoot some close-ups of the girls! Then...right before they came on a security guy came along and told me all media had to be up by the sound booth...which was about half way up the arena! UGH! So needless to say close-ups did not happen! But the girls did a great job and put on a great show! They are an all girl band and just recorded the soundtrack of 'I want you to want me' that will be used for the new ABC tv show '10 Things I hate about You'. Check them out!
So it was a great July 4th weekend all around! Lots of friends and sun! As I drove home Sunday night I realized I thought very little this weekend about what this holiday is actually about. I didn't see many fireworks all weekend and I didn't see a parade full of American flags and amidst my own enjoyment I almost completely forgot what it is all about. Sad, I know....but in that moment, driving the packed late night interstate, I remembered. I'm not sure what reminded me... but something did and I began to think about our country and all the other countries I've been to. How completely spoiled I am, how much I take it for granted because it's all I've ever known and how ungreatful I can be. I recently talked to a friend about how as humans we always want more. We rarely appreciate what we currently have because we always want more. Now that can be a good thing, but most of the time it is to our shame. And in our wanting we become completely ungreatful. So today, take a minute and quit thinking about what you dont' have and focus on what you do...and be greatful!
Me and Ang!
Ang and Josh! Love these guys!
Sophia chillin pool-side!And the jumping pictures begin!
Mr. Ross grilling up some goodness! mmmm!
Our backyard friends!
Rehearsal... 
Shelby letting it rip in practice!
Here they are...K-S-M! Thursday, July 2, 2009
adventure extravaganza...
I don't think I've ever been an undecisive person, but lately I just don't care. I use to pray for a long time, 'Dear Lord, make me more layed back so that things don't annoy and bother me' and maybe now, along with maturity and learning to just chill, that prayer is getting answered. But the bad part is I tend to hang out with people who are undecisive because I'm the decisive one... and now well, nobody cares! (ok, that may not be true... most of my close friends are quite decisive too) That's just it, if I do care I will most definitely speak up, that is not my problem, but when it is 'where should we eat', 'what should we do', 'what are our plans', I would just much rather figure things out as we go and go with the flow. If you know me very well, you know that this is kind of weird.
Maybe it's due to the fact that most days of my life are completely planned out. Not by me, but by duty. I have to get up by a certain time, get ready, go to work for 9 hours and then come home and most evenings in my week are routine as well. Or maybe it's the fact that my job is to plan and organize and keep things in order for my boss (well and every other job I've had) so much that I just want my life to not be planned.
Some of my favorite memories were during my two years at JBU where we always did spontaneous things. From hot lake swimming, to water tower climbing, to paintball wars, to whatever... they were the best memories because they were out of the routine and norm of life. So here's my goal... at least once a month (maybe more than that) I want to do something adventurous! Something I wouldn't do in my normal routine of life, but something out of the ordinary. It may be travel, hiking, climbing, bungie jumping, repelling, a weekend away to a neat place, painting, camping, fishing (gulp!), canoeing, etc...and other things I wouldn't even think of! And since people are what make memories so great who's in???? Ideas are welcome!
Maybe it's due to the fact that most days of my life are completely planned out. Not by me, but by duty. I have to get up by a certain time, get ready, go to work for 9 hours and then come home and most evenings in my week are routine as well. Or maybe it's the fact that my job is to plan and organize and keep things in order for my boss (well and every other job I've had) so much that I just want my life to not be planned.
Some of my favorite memories were during my two years at JBU where we always did spontaneous things. From hot lake swimming, to water tower climbing, to paintball wars, to whatever... they were the best memories because they were out of the routine and norm of life. So here's my goal... at least once a month (maybe more than that) I want to do something adventurous! Something I wouldn't do in my normal routine of life, but something out of the ordinary. It may be travel, hiking, climbing, bungie jumping, repelling, a weekend away to a neat place, painting, camping, fishing (gulp!), canoeing, etc...and other things I wouldn't even think of! And since people are what make memories so great who's in???? Ideas are welcome!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
polka dots...
Polka dots... how come there's an 'l' in there? Well none the less I enjoy polka dots and they remind me of several things: childhood, the 60's and how styles and fads always come back. I've always told myself that through each fad growing up I should keep a few of my favorite articles of clothing because it is sure to come back around. I look back at pictures of my mother when she was my age and loved her clothes and wish she would have kept them for me. The high waisted pants that have come back along with platform shoes to skinny pants and flat thin sandles...it will come back around. I wore Levi boys jeans when i was younger because they were the only thing that fit me and for the most part they were tapered to be skinny at the bottom. I wasn't much into style but I remember when I branched out and got my first pair of pants that flaired..or so I thought. They had some silly little twirly buttons on the fly and were a little longer so I could wear high-heels with them. I kept those jeans as long as I could until I realized they were not flair at all, but just regular boot cut, ha!
So I do, I keep a few favorite clothing articles from each era of my life. I love to think that one day I'll get to give them to my daughters and they will think how cool I once was :). I love thinking of my children and what I can pass on to them. How I can encourage them and pour into them all that has been passed down to me! I love to think about the future and the generations of people that will follow me! How I can look back at my family heritage and see this incredible inheritance that has been passed down to me.
My mom and I were talking the other day about how overwhelmingly blessed we have been. I have no idea why, except that somewhere up the line someone chose to follow Jesus and raise their children accordingly and by the complete grace of God I have reaped from that decision. This fall both of my grandparents will have been married 60 years!!!! They are all four alive and well and ammmazing people that I cherish to know! I got to talk to one of my grandmothers yesterday and as she asked me about life I realized how much I wanted to hear about hers. I wish there were enough time so I could hear the details of her life and the thoughts she had when she was my age. How she managed to raise five children and her deep thoughts about life today. My dad and I always talk about how as humans one of our biggest flaws is forgetting. We simply can't remember how we got to where we are today. What decisions we chose to make and the ups and downs that got us here. It is quite an annoying flaw and one that we can see throughout history (especially for Israel) that proved to be quite fatal!
I once did a project in 4th grade about my family history. I had each one of my grandparents and one great grandfather tell me their life story. It was incredible! I think it probably was incredible for them as well. To first remember and then to pass down their story and that of their parents to the next generation. Walking to school (of course up hill both ways) in 3 feet of snow and living on a farm and going to war and waiting for him to return from war and just the amazing grace of God to find them jobs and make them prosper! How do we forget!
As I think of all of this and my own family one day... I realize we are just like Abraham. We are blessed to be a blessing. We have received grace to give grace freely! I know a lot of people who would have very similar stories to mine, because many of them are my friends, but I also have many friends whose stories are quite, quite different. Life threw them a different story, one not so sheltered and gracious as mine might seem perhaps, but the great thing is the things they are called to in their life and the people they will reach because of what they have walked through will be oh so different than mine. And the best part is we all grab hands together and where I may not understand they do and what they cannot comprehend I can try to demonstrate. And when one of us might grow envious of the other we are there to remind each other that we are 'uniquely and wonderfully made' and not called to be identical polka dots!
So I do, I keep a few favorite clothing articles from each era of my life. I love to think that one day I'll get to give them to my daughters and they will think how cool I once was :). I love thinking of my children and what I can pass on to them. How I can encourage them and pour into them all that has been passed down to me! I love to think about the future and the generations of people that will follow me! How I can look back at my family heritage and see this incredible inheritance that has been passed down to me.
My mom and I were talking the other day about how overwhelmingly blessed we have been. I have no idea why, except that somewhere up the line someone chose to follow Jesus and raise their children accordingly and by the complete grace of God I have reaped from that decision. This fall both of my grandparents will have been married 60 years!!!! They are all four alive and well and ammmazing people that I cherish to know! I got to talk to one of my grandmothers yesterday and as she asked me about life I realized how much I wanted to hear about hers. I wish there were enough time so I could hear the details of her life and the thoughts she had when she was my age. How she managed to raise five children and her deep thoughts about life today. My dad and I always talk about how as humans one of our biggest flaws is forgetting. We simply can't remember how we got to where we are today. What decisions we chose to make and the ups and downs that got us here. It is quite an annoying flaw and one that we can see throughout history (especially for Israel) that proved to be quite fatal!
I once did a project in 4th grade about my family history. I had each one of my grandparents and one great grandfather tell me their life story. It was incredible! I think it probably was incredible for them as well. To first remember and then to pass down their story and that of their parents to the next generation. Walking to school (of course up hill both ways) in 3 feet of snow and living on a farm and going to war and waiting for him to return from war and just the amazing grace of God to find them jobs and make them prosper! How do we forget!
As I think of all of this and my own family one day... I realize we are just like Abraham. We are blessed to be a blessing. We have received grace to give grace freely! I know a lot of people who would have very similar stories to mine, because many of them are my friends, but I also have many friends whose stories are quite, quite different. Life threw them a different story, one not so sheltered and gracious as mine might seem perhaps, but the great thing is the things they are called to in their life and the people they will reach because of what they have walked through will be oh so different than mine. And the best part is we all grab hands together and where I may not understand they do and what they cannot comprehend I can try to demonstrate. And when one of us might grow envious of the other we are there to remind each other that we are 'uniquely and wonderfully made' and not called to be identical polka dots!
Monday, June 29, 2009
picking up where we left off...
This past weekend I finally made my trip to Omaha, Nebraska. After severe storms in Dallas that cancelled my plans two weeks ago I was glad to finally make it there! I have only seen my good friend Kylie a few times in the last 7 years of living in Dallas and those times are never long enough. As Ann Shirley would say off of Ann of Green Gables, 'she is a bossom friend and a kindred spirit'. :) We made very few plans for the weekend and enjoyed just talking, talking and talking about everything under the sun. Kylie has been married to a great guy, James, for 4 years now and 3 months ago they had their first little boy, Landon. Every morning we'd get up, end up talking on the couches, then go on a long walk, eat breakfast and decide what to do that day. Most of my life is so scheduled out with work and other activities I reallllllly enjoyed just being with a great friend and going with the flow.
Friday Kylie and I went and got peticures for her birthday and then went into downtown Omaha, along with James and Landon, to a huge arts festival. We walked around for a few hours and then went and ate dinner. Afterwards we grabbed home made icecream and walked around some more. It was so much fun and probably because I rarely take the time to go to events like that and it always seems like people I am with are in a hurry to move on to the next event--we... had no plans. I enjoyed doing something besides dinner and a movie.
Saturday our morning schedule stayed the same and then we went to watch James play in a softball game in the afternoon. We then went and met another old friend of mine, Jordan, to eat at Kona Grill (hmmmmm :) and hangout. Jordan and I met 9 years ago while working a summer camp near my house and have somewhat stayed in touch over the years. We had a great time catching up and after dinner grabbed some Coldstone icecream (i ate more icecream this weekend than i normally do in a year) and went to play putt putt. Before putt putt Jordan and I decided to venture out and proove our skills at the batting cages. Granted neither one of us were ever all-stars in the baseball/softball world-we were out to proove that wrong. After 15 pitches we easily agreed we had chosen well not to make that our favorite sport! So we then played 18 holes of putt putt of which I definitely won...the highest score! (cause that's what I always go for) It was a great night with old friends and as we drove home we got to see fireworks going off all over Omaha! (they are obviously more patriotic than Texas starting a whole week before the 4th)
Sunday we went to church and Kylie's parents came by on their way back home. (they are some of my absolute favorite people) We then hit the pool for a short hour before I had to head back to the airport! It was such a great weekend away and reminded me how God connects our hearts with friends and even though we may not talk or see each other often they can be a constant encouragment and reminder of what great friends really look like. I'm amazed at how easily it was to pick up right where we left off and talk about everything under the sun!
So here are some pictures from the weekend!!!
Our new peticures!
Meet 3 month old Landon!
I was obviously much more serious about the batting cages! Game face-ON!
Kylie and I have some intense putt putt form. Watch and learn! 
Friday Kylie and I went and got peticures for her birthday and then went into downtown Omaha, along with James and Landon, to a huge arts festival. We walked around for a few hours and then went and ate dinner. Afterwards we grabbed home made icecream and walked around some more. It was so much fun and probably because I rarely take the time to go to events like that and it always seems like people I am with are in a hurry to move on to the next event--we... had no plans. I enjoyed doing something besides dinner and a movie.
Saturday our morning schedule stayed the same and then we went to watch James play in a softball game in the afternoon. We then went and met another old friend of mine, Jordan, to eat at Kona Grill (hmmmmm :) and hangout. Jordan and I met 9 years ago while working a summer camp near my house and have somewhat stayed in touch over the years. We had a great time catching up and after dinner grabbed some Coldstone icecream (i ate more icecream this weekend than i normally do in a year) and went to play putt putt. Before putt putt Jordan and I decided to venture out and proove our skills at the batting cages. Granted neither one of us were ever all-stars in the baseball/softball world-we were out to proove that wrong. After 15 pitches we easily agreed we had chosen well not to make that our favorite sport! So we then played 18 holes of putt putt of which I definitely won...the highest score! (cause that's what I always go for) It was a great night with old friends and as we drove home we got to see fireworks going off all over Omaha! (they are obviously more patriotic than Texas starting a whole week before the 4th)
Sunday we went to church and Kylie's parents came by on their way back home. (they are some of my absolute favorite people) We then hit the pool for a short hour before I had to head back to the airport! It was such a great weekend away and reminded me how God connects our hearts with friends and even though we may not talk or see each other often they can be a constant encouragment and reminder of what great friends really look like. I'm amazed at how easily it was to pick up right where we left off and talk about everything under the sun!
So here are some pictures from the weekend!!!
Our new peticures!
Meet 3 month old Landon!
I was obviously much more serious about the batting cages! Game face-ON!
Kylie and I have some intense putt putt form. Watch and learn! 
Thursday, June 25, 2009
dying prematurely...
I've been writing a lot of blogs lately, but not finishing them. I get an idea or have something on my mind and start writing and don't have the time to finish them right then and then later have lost the desire to. A few I may go back and finish, but for now these are my thoughts today.
I just had a great conversation with a friend about health and taking care of our bodies. I realize most of us don't like to go there because we feel defeated before we even get started. There's no starting place! It's one diet after another and its some over zealous healthy person who always has the answers to how to lose weight and be healthy (i know i can sometimes be that person :). We immediately close our minds to hearing them because they 'obviously don't struggle like I do' and then go back to our same old ways.
A few weeks ago a chiropractor came and spoke at our college ministry about taking care of our bodies overall and one of the best things I heard him say was how the church tends to brush health and taking care of our bodies right under the rug. As if overindulging and filling our bodies (temples) with crapt is one verse in the Bible that we don't have to live by. We all have those areas that we choose to skip over and that 'dont' apply to me', but what the church doesn't seem to realize is how sneakily (yes that's a word) the enemy has used this to kill us. We don't see it as a sin so we don't address it as a place of need. I'm not saying you need to 'go green' or 'all natural' or 'organic', I'm simply saying that in the case of 'not wanting to offend' someone we comletely brush it under the rug! More often than not I hear people exaulting this area as a point of humor and lack of self control, that 'I just dont' seem to have'. But as this chiropractor pointed out, we have all been given self control as a fruit of the spirit, just like we have all been given peace. Now its your choice if you want to walk in peace and take your thoughts captive, no one can do it for you, but why dont' we see taking care of our bodies as seriously as we do someone who is walking in fear and depression.
There are countless people who are dying prematurely because of the lack of self control and knowledge they have to take care of their bodies. As someone who has dealt with fear and seen how it can hold me captive from wanting to walk out the plans of God on my life, I know I will do whatever it takes to study, research and find others around me who can check on me, to make sure this area of my life doesn't 'kill' me prematurely. What works for someone else may not work for me and I think it would be unwise for me to not grow in knowledge and understanding to take care of this area of my life. Now using this in the scenario of taking care of you body wouldn't it make sense that the verse 'people perish for lack of knowledge' could fit in this area?
I'm not saying you have to be a 'health nut' or 'freak' even, I'm just suggesting that maybe we make a little bigger deal about taking care of our bodies so we can do what we're called to do! Of course bad health doesn't come over night, like most other problems in our lives, they start with bad habits and choosing our fleshly desires over discipline and the kingdom. I just hope that the church will start addressing it like we do everything else in the Bible!
Now to wrap it up, I can bet that most of you who read this will think 'this doesn't apply to me' or even recognize that this is an area of weakness and attack on the church today... so if that's you...thinking that... maybe just think about a little more.
I just had a great conversation with a friend about health and taking care of our bodies. I realize most of us don't like to go there because we feel defeated before we even get started. There's no starting place! It's one diet after another and its some over zealous healthy person who always has the answers to how to lose weight and be healthy (i know i can sometimes be that person :). We immediately close our minds to hearing them because they 'obviously don't struggle like I do' and then go back to our same old ways.
A few weeks ago a chiropractor came and spoke at our college ministry about taking care of our bodies overall and one of the best things I heard him say was how the church tends to brush health and taking care of our bodies right under the rug. As if overindulging and filling our bodies (temples) with crapt is one verse in the Bible that we don't have to live by. We all have those areas that we choose to skip over and that 'dont' apply to me', but what the church doesn't seem to realize is how sneakily (yes that's a word) the enemy has used this to kill us. We don't see it as a sin so we don't address it as a place of need. I'm not saying you need to 'go green' or 'all natural' or 'organic', I'm simply saying that in the case of 'not wanting to offend' someone we comletely brush it under the rug! More often than not I hear people exaulting this area as a point of humor and lack of self control, that 'I just dont' seem to have'. But as this chiropractor pointed out, we have all been given self control as a fruit of the spirit, just like we have all been given peace. Now its your choice if you want to walk in peace and take your thoughts captive, no one can do it for you, but why dont' we see taking care of our bodies as seriously as we do someone who is walking in fear and depression.
There are countless people who are dying prematurely because of the lack of self control and knowledge they have to take care of their bodies. As someone who has dealt with fear and seen how it can hold me captive from wanting to walk out the plans of God on my life, I know I will do whatever it takes to study, research and find others around me who can check on me, to make sure this area of my life doesn't 'kill' me prematurely. What works for someone else may not work for me and I think it would be unwise for me to not grow in knowledge and understanding to take care of this area of my life. Now using this in the scenario of taking care of you body wouldn't it make sense that the verse 'people perish for lack of knowledge' could fit in this area?
I'm not saying you have to be a 'health nut' or 'freak' even, I'm just suggesting that maybe we make a little bigger deal about taking care of our bodies so we can do what we're called to do! Of course bad health doesn't come over night, like most other problems in our lives, they start with bad habits and choosing our fleshly desires over discipline and the kingdom. I just hope that the church will start addressing it like we do everything else in the Bible!
Now to wrap it up, I can bet that most of you who read this will think 'this doesn't apply to me' or even recognize that this is an area of weakness and attack on the church today... so if that's you...thinking that... maybe just think about a little more.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
for those unseen, unheard and unable...
I can't help but post this and hope more and more people will watch it. This is INCREDIBLE! Please read my good friend Destiny's blog along with it. It's quite gripping! I along with her can't wait for the day when I get to hold and raise the adopted child that's out there and will be waiting for me!
Here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPF1FhCMPuQ
Here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPF1FhCMPuQ
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